On Energetic Boundaries Pt. 1
Why you need them.
If you find yourself not getting your way, having a difficult time or continuously coming up against non-ideal experiences you might need to look at your energetic boundaries.
This is the personal "self-work" I've been doing most ardently over the last few months and what I’ll be concentrating on for the near future. My communicated boundaries are fairly clear and pristine so I couldn't work out why I kept having experiences of people subtly pushing them in ridiculous ways.
For example, my hairdresser completely forgetting who I was, dying my hair black and giving me the most random 90s haircut of all time out of nowhere, contractors taking 7+ months to complete their work which caused a gigantic financial nightmare, my house being sold out from underneath me, the landlord lying to us about it then consequently having to relocate my entire life 1.5 hours away in just 2 weeks and people ripping off my IP in my business (and emailing me to tell me directly that they'd been doing it!!!).
It felt like every where I turned someone was doing something that could be considered immoral and outrageous and acting like nothing had happened. I started to feel like I was living in the twilight zone or I was not on the same frequency as my environment.
Now in each of these instances I have stated my boundaries but I likely needed to do that more and louder, so that was a lesson in and of itself that I'm still working on. Trust my contractors are getting weekly follow up emails and no-one else is touching my hair for at least the next decade. I had to work on not giving a rats arse if I was perceived as pushy, annoying or a bitch.
But I still had to question, why does it feel like I've been hit with a tsunami energetically?
I've been doing manifestation work and self-hypnosis guided by To Be Magnetic on and off since 2017ish (when it was a blog of lists rather than an entire process - use code CLARA5218 if you’re getting started) so I'm keenly aware of the energetics behind what's happening to me and I'm not just looking at my experiences from how I feel or what I'd prefer to happen.
Part of this work surrounds what is called “Tests” and particularly for me I realised the only negative things that had happened in my life for the last couple of years could be categorised as "Boundary Tests". Which means basically that people and situations were consistently pushing on my boundaries (and sometimes professional expectations).
I have a 3 pronged approach to how I'm trying to get out of the cycle:
Start to stand up for myself in the moment both with literal communication and energetically
Watch my reactions and stop letting these things trigger me
Strengthen my energetic boundaries
This final point is the one I want to focus on - now there are lots of different ways to look at and approach energetic boundaries. For some it's about visualisation, cleansing their space and being conscious around what they let into it, for others it's about getting Reiki healings, tuning out the world or having a witch create a ward around their social media.
I love all of these things and I do most of them. But I felt intuitively (and then Chat GPT told me when I asked it to give me a 2025 energetic outlook based on my Astrology, Human Design, Myers Briggs and personal goals etc.) that for me to become energetically impenetrable I needed to some a few specific things including:
Becoming more physically strong, lifting heavy weights.
Becoming more physcially robust and fit - jogging, spin, cardio and building mobililty with yoga, pilates and stretching.
Becoming more physically attuned - hitting my protein goals, making sure my bodies natural detox processes were optimal (still working on that) and listening to the needs of my body instead of pushing through.
Doubling down on my restorative and nervous system practices
To get pristine in how I distribute my time, energy and focus - if I tell my clients I'm not available until 11am, I better stop checking messages before then. If I tell myself I want to have a wholesome, restorative evening I shouldn't spent that night scrolling on my iPad!
It's essentially about creating a container in which I am strong enough to hold whatever is going on and not be penetrated by it, so that I can maintain emotional equilibrium-ish when the shit hits the fan and to signify to my external world that I am essentially not the person you want to fuck with.
Rather than laying down and taking the punches, letting them flow as they naturally will but ensuring that I'm holding my side, that I'm able to pivot and strike back in a way that is aligned and not dishevelled.
So, that's what I'm concentrating on personally at the moment - no not looking into my childhood trauma or rehashing the damage from my ex - getting really fuck off strong and building my capacity to hold the dream life I'm calling in and almost already living.
If this is interesting to you or if you find yourself in a similar state to me, getting battered by the world in an endless feeling way, stay tuned to hear what's worked, not worked and what the outcomes are so far in this process.